Sober Synthesis

Topic: Cultivating Secure Attachments

What are attachment styles?

• Our autonomic nervous system is tethered (unconsciously connected) to the autonomic nervous system of others.
• The attachment relationship is essentially how we regulate our emotion.
  • Attachment is interactive regulation.
• Attachment is not psychological, it’s neurobiological.
• We develop an attachment style in early development based on our interactions with primary caregivers. 
  • A secure attachment style can become an insecure attachment style in response to a traumatic and/or unhealthy relationship later in life.
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https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-allan-schore-how-relationships-shape-your-brain

What are proposed predominant brain processing differences with insecure attachments and what broad corrective/therapeutic processes that may help the development of a more secure attachment?

• Anxious/ambivalent (Preoccupied): 
  • Oriented to the right hemisphere, focused on the past, may be flooded with emotions
  • Focus on sense of self, practice receiving
• Avoidant (Dismissive):
  • Oriented to the left hemisphere, focused on the future, logic/reasoning 
  • Focus on connection (e.g. eye contact, touch, dance)
• Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant):
  • Lack of linkage in the Associative Cortex (brain region bridge), amygdala often stuck in trauma
  • Untangle survival instinct from love/attachment system

How to develop a more secure attachment?

• Understand neuroception (beneath the level of conscious awareness)
  • Depending on how our nervous system ‘interprets’ a situation determines whether we numb/disconnect, dysregulated/distrust, or connect. 
• We can learn to develop and maintain secure attachments. Essential features include:
  • Modulating our autonomic nervous system arousal (supporting physical and emotional balance). 
  • To be in an interpersonal relationship with someone (e.g. therapist) or a group (e.g. Lifering) and to co-create with that person heightened emotional moments. Taking the risk to be open and vulnerable are the experiences that support neurobiological changes for secure attachments.

Proposed questions for thought/sharing:

1. How has your attachment style played out in your relationships? In your addiction? In your recovery?
2. Have therapeutic and/or self-help individuals/groups supported your development of a secure base? How? 
3. What self care activities have been most helpful to support your physical and emotional balance?

Disclaimer

This summary is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed.