Sober Synthesis

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” -Brene Brown

What is Vulnerability?

• Positive vulnerability is a courageous, intentional act of opening oneself to emotional risks in order to foster authentic connection and personal growth.
  • Vulnerability as a healing tool (the “active” state) refers to an active choice to be authentic and open, which strongly supports neurobiological and emotional repair.
• Negative vulnerability is a state of being exposed, either by choice or circumstance, that leads to harm or discomfort without corresponding growth.
  • Vulnerability as a risk factor (the “at-risk” state) refers to the factors that increase the likelihood of developing a substance use disorder or experiencing a relapse.

How does Positive Vulnerability Support Recovery?

• Improves emotional regulation
  • A way to practice expressing and processing difficult emotions to work through shame.
• Builds resilience
  • A way to gain confidence and belief in our ability to handle challenging situations. 
• Strengthens relationships 
  • Fosters intimacy by deepening our compassion, empathy, and connection to others in our life.
• Vulnerability Examples
  • Talking about mistakes you have made.
  • Sharing personal information that you normally keep private.
  • Feeling and sharing difficult emotions such as shame, grief, or fear.
  • Reconnecting with someone after a relationship disruption.
  • Being honest about what you need in a relationship, including boundaries and expectations.

What are Challenges and Cultivators of Healing Vulnerability?

• Challenges
  • Fear of rejection or abandonment.
  • Can trigger shame.
  • Overcoming the socialized/conditioned message that vulnerability is a weakness, especially with men.
• Cultivators
  • Crying: facilitates emotional processing, releases stress relief neurochemicals (endorphins, oxytocin), and helps our body detoxify stress hormones and toxins.
  • Start small: sharing simple experiences with someone or a group of people you trust. 
  • Practice self-compassion: embrace our authentic self including flaws, imperfections, and past mistakes.
  • Professional support may be important, especially when addressing early childhood and/or complex trauma. 
  • Celebrate successes: Self acknowledgement of small steps reinforces continued practice and growth.

Proposed questions for thought/sharing:

1. Did barriers to vulnerability play a role in your addiction? How?
2. Has vulnerability played a role in your recovery? How?

Disclaimer

This summary is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed.