Sober Synthesis

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the
barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I
can change.” Carl Rogers

Compassion plays a subtle, but very important role in mindfulness practice.
Compassion, and especially self-compassion, may be the most important component of MBSR

Lovingkindness and compassion are at the core of almost every meditative tradition
including mindfulness.

Self-compassion involves treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding
that someone would offer a friend.

Kristin Neff: Assoc. Prof. of Educational Psychology at University of Texas at Austin.
Pioneer in the field of self-compassion research.
Recognized as one of the most influential researchers in psychology worldwide.

Self-Compassion increases the motivation required to persist in a task after failure and seems to enhance resilience to challenging or traumatic events.

By caring for themselves, individuals can also be more present in relationships
and can sustain greater compassion for others.

Three elements of self-compassion:

Kindness toward yourself in difficult times;

• Paying attention to your suffering in a mindful, non-obsessive way;
• Common humanity, or the recognition that your suffering is part of the
  human experience rather than unique to you.

Research: Self-compassion correlates with important real-world outcomes.
e.g. People who score high in self-compassion are less prone to anxiety and depression.

Juliana Breines, Ph.D., Social and Personality Psychology, Univ. of California, Berkeley.
Researches how social experiences shape the way people treat themselves, and how positive and negative forms of self-treatment (e.g., self-compassion, self-criticism) impact stress reactivity, health and well-being.

She found that cultivating self-compassion could counter “contingent self-esteem”;
the problem of tying your self-evaluation to fluctuating factors such as academic achievement and others’ approval.

Will self-compassion undermine motivation?
Research showed the opposite: Being kind to yourself can make it safe to fail, encourages you to try again.

One researcher concluded: “If you are low in self-compassion, you’re using too much emotional energy thinking about the bad feelings and not enough addressing the real issues.”

Mindfulness component of self-compassion leads people to acknowledge
and accept reality, without judgment.

The common-humanity component is important as well: allowing one to recognize that
we are all here together and that we all share suffering of one type or another.

2015 Meta-analysis: found links between self-compassion and health promoting behaviors related to eating, exercise, sleep and stress management.

Research indicates that the self-compassionate are more psychologically resilient
and better able to regain emotional wellbeing after adversity.

Kristin D. Neff’s Web site: http://selfcompassion.org/category/exercises

Self-Compassion Resources:

The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life’s Challenges. Paul Gilbert. New Harbinger Publications, 2009.

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. Kristin Neff. William Morrow, 2011.

Self-Criticism and Self-Compassion: Risk and Resilience. Ricks Warren, Elke Smeets & Kristin Neff in Current Psychiatry, Vol.15, No.12, December, 2016.

Metta Institute describes “Metta Meditation”: http://www.mettainstitute.org