Sober Synthesis

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”—Albert Schweitzer

What are Important Attachment Styles Principles?

• Our autonomic nervous system is tethered (unconsciously connected) to the autonomic nervous system of others.
• Our attachment relationships are essential for emotional regulation.
  • Attachment is interactive regulation.
• Attachment is not psychological, it’s neurobiological.
• We develop an attachment style in early development based on our interactions with primary caregivers. 
  • Important Note: A secure attachment style can become an insecure attachment style in response to a traumatic and/or unhealthy relationship later in life.
    • Bullying, especially during adolescence 
    • Intimate partner violence
• Shame, the conscious or unconscious belief that one is bad/flawed/unworthy, is generally rooted in an insecure attachment dynamic.
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What are proposed predominant brain processing differences with insecure attachments and what broad corrective/therapeutic processes that may help the development of a more secure attachment?

• Anxious/ambivalent (Preoccupied): 
  • Oriented to the right hemisphere, focused on the past, may be flooded with emotions
  • Focus on sense of self, practice receiving
• Avoidant (Dismissive):
  • Oriented to the left hemisphere, focused on the future, logic/reasoning 
  • Focus on connection (e.g. eye contact, touch, dance)
• Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized):
  • Lack of linkage in the Associative Cortex (brain region bridge), amygdala often stuck in trauma
  • Untangle survival instinct from love/attachment system

How to develop a more secure attachment?

• Understand neuroception (beneath the level of conscious awareness)
  • Depending on how our nervous system ‘interprets’ a situation determines whether we numb/disconnect, dysregulate/distrust, or connect. 
• We can learn to develop and maintain secure attachments. Essential features include:
  • Modulating our autonomic nervous system arousal (supporting physical and emotional balance). 
  • Commit to an interpersonal relationship with someone (e.g. therapist) or a group (e.g. Lifering) that feels safe enough to experience heightened emotional moments with that person or group. Taking the risk to be open and vulnerable are the experiences that support neurobiological changes for secure attachments.
    • Developing a safe relationship can take significant time

https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-allan-schore-how-relationships-shape-your-brain

https://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/interpersonal-neurobiology-of-shame/3058897

Proposed question for thought/sharing:

1. Did this information spark any curiosity and how?

Disclaimer

This summary is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed.