Sober Synthesis

Clarity: When I think of clarity a few things spring to mind. The pure whiteness of the first winter snow. Clear water flowing down a brook. Seeing vividness in pictures and paintings that I had never seen before. Hearing background vocals and instruments in a song or piece of music that I had never heard before after finally deciding to upgrade my headphones. Those are auditory and visual examples. When I became sober this most recent time after about two weeks I found several wonderful things started to happen due to the wonderful gift we have called our mind. This wonderful gift we are given that has the power to regenerate itself even though we may have punished it, it’s still there for us as long as we take care of it. We problem solve better. Tasks that may have seemed insurmountable before seem doable again. We remember to pay bills on time. Remember that we told a friend or family member that we would call them at a certain time and follow through on that promise. We remember that we told ourselves that we would stay sober and that if we fail we remind ourselves that we can continue to try and fight that demon. Maybe it comes in a bottle, maybe it comes in another form, but I believe it can be slayed. I used to write poetry after a drink or two. It’s an escape for me and a way to help heal past trauma. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to write anything decent, that it would just be mere drivel, if sober. I hope I’m wrong. I’m giving it a try for the first time in a very long time.

Sean Bywaters, February 2025.