“You can live alone without being lonely, and you can be lonely without living alone, but the two are closely tied together.”
Johann Hari:
“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy: Americans are “facing an epidemic of loneliness and social isolation.”
Great Britain has created a “Campaign to End Loneliness and has a
Minister of Loneliness, established in 2016.
Loneliness is a significant health risk:
Lonely people are more likely to die prematurely.
More dangerous than obesity, and about as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Research:
Loneliness is linked to multiple chronic conditions: heart disease, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, atherosclerosis, stroke; and metabolic disorders, such as obesity and metabolic disease.
Major predictor of psychological problems: such as depression, anxiety and dementia.
Neuroscience:
Loneliness is a state of profound distress – Hypervigilance – Stress – Loneliness triggers fight/flight response – Survival dependent on belonging to a group (evolution).
Social isolation as form of punishment: banishment, solitary confinement, exile
Research:
Dr. John Cacioppo, University of Chicago. Dr. Loneliness.
Evolutionary theory of loneliness: body understands being alone, or being with strangers, as an emergency.
Over millennia, hypervigilance in response to isolation became embedded in our nervous system to produce the anxiety we associate with loneliness. Brain changes.
What is Loneliness? It is a subjective, unwelcome feeling of lack or loss of companionship. Mismatch between quantity and quality of social relationships that we have, versus those that we want. Emotional experience.
Types of loneliness (Britain)
Emotional loneliness – ‘the absence of meaningful relationships’
Social loneliness – a ‘perceived deficit in the quality of social connections’
Existential loneliness – a ‘feeling of fundamental separateness from others and the wider world’
Ideas for Cultivating Connection:
Mindfulness for self connection and self-awareness, regular self-care and stress reduction for limbic system/emotional balance. Loving-kindness as an antidote.
Make eye contact, smile, say hello in casual social situations (eg. grocery store, on a walk).
Consider volunteering.
Consider joining a local group or an engaging activity in your area.
Continue attending and participating in recovery self help groups (camera on when possible).
Get more physical. Touch can deepen relationship bonds (as long as the other person is willing of course). Virtual hugs are powerful replacements. Massage.
Minimize phone/computer for primary source of connection (social media).
Use digital connection as waystation. If used as a destination, can lead to more social withdrawal.
Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John Cacioppo, 2008
Together; The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World. Vivek H. Murthy, 2020
Disclaimer:
This summary is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed.
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