Sober Synthesis

“Anger is just anger. It isn’t good. It isn’t bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It’s like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice.”

– Jim Butcher, White Night

Difference Between Feelings and Emotions

• Your brain keeps the score, your body is the scorecard – you don’t feel things in your brain, you feel them in your body.
  • Feelings are features of consciousness; your brain is always regulating your body and your body is always sending sensory input to your brain.
• Feelings and emotions are not interchangeable words; when you create/identify an emotion, you’re giving meaning to the affective feelings.
  • Affect is your basic sense of feeling, ranging from unpleasant to pleasant (called valence), and from idle to activated (called arousal).

Neurobiology of Anger

• Primary anger, an immediate amygdala response, activates neurochemicals and hormones that are necessary for survival to “fight” and protect.
  • These neurochemicals (e.g. norepinephrine) and hormones (e.g. cortisol) are physically (increased heart rate, impaired immune system, impaired metabolism) and emotionally harmful in high doses when anger is not expressed in healthy ways. 
  • Anger suppression also causes physical (muscle tension and head, neck, or back pain) and mental health (depression, anxiety) symptoms.

Common Sources of Anger: Healthy or Unhealthy Response Paths

• Primary anger is an important functional response to protect safety including setting boundaries.
• Anger is often a secondary emotion that generally arises in response to perceived wrongs or injustices. Fear and pain/irritation are often the twin roots of anger. Fear and pain/irritation may be physical, psychological, or both.
  • Expectations can lead to disappointment/resentment and subsequent unhealthy/unhelpful anger.
• When channeled usefully, anger can help us identify problems or things that are hurting us and motivate us to create change, achieve our goals.
• Uncontrolled anger and anger suppression are high correlates for addiction; strong triggers for relapse; and negatively impair mental, physical, relational, and occupational functioning.
• We use our prefrontal cortex to process and to decide how to respond/cope/manage anger. Our prefrontal cortex needs time to process.
  • Being open to our fear and anger helps us better connect with ourselves, offers us insight into our sense of safety, and offers us an opportunity to mindfully choose how to respond to, rather than react to them. 

Tools

  Unhealthy Anger Prevention:

• Recognize personal cues/triggers, including how expectations influence our anger.
  • Develop plans for practicing helpful expectations and responses to disappointment.
• Regular exercise, healthy eating, healthy sleep
• Meditation/mindfulness, gratitude practice, play and creative activities
• Set healthy boundaries
• Practice assertive versus aggressive communication
  • “Compassionate Communication” (AKA “Nonviolent Communication”) is an excellent model.
• Process anger inducing events with a trusted friend, Lifering, therapist

Unhealthy Anger Intervention (bring down physical arousal to allow time to think and respond):

• Intentional deep breathing and/or physiological sigh, take a walk/run, count to 10
• Do something distracting and/or physical (music, art, clean, write, cook, journal)

Proposed questions for thought/sharing:

1. What changes have you made to improve how you recognize and respond to anger and how have those changes supported your recovery/wellness?

2. What are your challenges with anger, including anger suppression? Any ideas for the future?

Disclaimer

This summary is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed.